Education should be individualized, not categorized.

In a recent conversation with a prospective family, I was asked the question: “Why is a co-educational environment right for my child?” As Head of School of a co-ed, 2K-8 school, I have been asked this question many times, but something about the way these parents posed their question seemed a little different than other times I’ve been asked it.

My typical response to this question usually revolves around the fact that “co-ed is real world.” In this particular interaction I asked the parent to consider my own questions: how many occupations exist in the twenty-first century that are single-gendered? How many workplaces lack male/female diversity? How many work projects have you worked on as an adult, where you were only dealing with one gender?  The bottom line is that co-educational environments prepare students to work with, solve problems with, and communicate with people that think differently, process information differently, and behave differently than those of their own gender. Male/female is one type of diversity that helps children be prepared for “real-world” situations and problem solving.  

After about five minutes, I sensed that these folks had heard this before and they were looking for something more. I got the feeling that they knew all of the research and reasons why co-ed seems to be the right choice, especially for students in the most important developmental years of pre-kindergarten through eighth grade. But they weren’t really asking for research or data as to why other parents’ children have found the co-ed environment right; they were asking about their child.

After the conversation ended and I thought about my reply to their question, I realized that a better response would have been to inquire and explore more about their own child instead of giving them facts and figures. The question was an individual one and unfortunately for this family, I don’t believe my response got to the heart of what they really wanted to know. Like all good parents, they want what is best for their child, and I believe they were really asking, “How is your school going to help my child grow and progress to his God-given potential? Will your school impact my child in a positive way because you know him and can serve his needs?”

Education is deeply personal and should be individualized, not categorized. In my mind, it is about the relationships that are cultivated in a school and are lived out in the day to day culture of that school, not the gender ratios within its classrooms, that really matter. Do the teachers take an individual interest in every child’s growth? How do teachers individualize instruction? Does the school teach a student as an individual? Yes, stereotypically, girls learn differently than boys and boys differently than girls, but children are not stereotypes and there are many variations within these general findings.  How do teachers develop lessons that help each child reach their potential? How do schools create cultures that meet the individual needs of their students?  These are the real questions that a healthy school addresses every day, resulting in positive outcomes for all children.